Parenting ~ It Just Comes Naturally, Right?

It does, doesn't it? I mean, people have been popping out babies since the beginning of humanity. If they hadn't known how to care for their progeny, we wouldn't be here. Right?

Of course, there was a time when youngsters learned to parent at home, with the raising up of their siblings. Older kids, girls in particular, helped with the household chores, including the watching, changing, feeding of younger sibs. Boys also helped with the chores, but these were more likely outdoor, seasonal, farm chores, etc. Still, these taught them responsibility.

Well, times change ~ industrial revolution, child labour laws, schools... Do you remember baby dolls? I do. I even had one. The idea of the baby doll was to acquaint little girls with the care and raising of babies. In fact, most human play initiated by toys was, at one time, intended to teach to some degree. "No, no!" said Mom. "You don't drag a baby by its leg, bumping it's head along on the ground! Here's how you carry a baby." My baby doll could wet herself. Of course, after the first few times, Mom put a stop to that, what with all the wet spots all over the living room. The little baby bottle disappeared. The little diapers didn't work quite like real ones. {snicker}

Anyway, I digress. So yeah, way back, play was instructional. Ah, but since it was decided that children need to be in school from about the age of 4 onward, playtime isn't the same. Alas, we weren't allowed to play a whole lot in school. Oh kindergarten was fun. But it isn't as if we could play with dolls. There was serious scissor work to be done, and letters to learn, and stories... so many stories.

And of course, even the playtime available has evolved over the last half century. Baby dolls have given way to the Barbie with all its fashion and accessories. And hunting, fishing, fixing the tractor, car, or whatever, has given way to the video game. Boys are still playing war, but it isn't about physical stealth and target shooting, although they are learning some great hand~eye coordination. And then there's TV... tons of potential, and yet....

Hmmm... so what about these parenting skills? How are kids learning these? With both Mom and Dad working in our society, and with school work, TV and video games taking up so much of their lives, where are kids picking up these skills? Do they learn how to parent from Mom and Dad rushing them around to organized sports, music or dance lessons, cheerleading practice? Could something be missing?

Some schools are experimenting with parenting classes for teens these days, I hear. That's where the teacher sends a student home with a bag of flour to be cared for. This can have interesting results. Still, an effort is being made. Before writing this, I googled "parenting classes in schools" with limited results. So I'm wondering, shouldn't parenting skills just be part of what kids are learning in school? I mean from a young age too. Just as they take health, physical education and history, should they not be taught the basics of caring for another, little human being?

I just can't help wondering. Afterall, we need a licence to drive a car, or pilot a plane or boat. We need one to get married, or to hunt, fish, to sell real estate, or even to have a dog. And yet, no classes and no licence is required to procreate. Not that I'm advocating this. It's just that for something this important, and with issues such as bullying, anger management, social skills and more surfacing as areas of social concern, wouldn't the learning of parenting skills in school be a good thing? Anyway, I think so. Caring is still important. Isn't it?

Just wondering.

A nod to Crystal Jigsaw, whose blog post got me to thinkin'. The link to her blog is: http://crystaljigsaw.blogspot.com/

Why Don't We Stop Lying to Our Children?

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely.

This is a quote from the words of John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton, first Baron Acton (1834–1902). The historian and moralist, who was otherwise known simply as Lord Acton, expressed this opinion in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton in 1887:
"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men."

He said a mouthful.

How often have we seen this proven in the pages of history? Answer: too often. What to do? A discussion broke out (I think an apt description of how discussions tend to start these days) over deposing corrupt leaders. Someone asked how we'd feel if someone from another country wanted to depose ours. Heh. Apples and oranges. You see, we can depose our own. It's called an ELECTION. People in countries like Libya don't have that handy opportunity. The problem here is that we don't necessarily recognize when there's a problem and we don't use our opportunity for change to our own benefit. We sit dumbly by while our trust is abused. We call 53% a "good" voting turnout. We are a rather apathetic society, to put it mildly. Ah, but, I digress.

Gaddafi took over Libya by military coup and has had absolute power over the Libyan people for over 40 years. He is corrupt, to say the least. He has been, to some degree, controlled by other powers by virtue of sanctions and threats over this time. But he has always had an ace up his sleeve: oil, the main commodity of Libya and something the rest of us want. And so, despite the disdain of many nations and world leaders, he has remained in power, at times teetering on the brink of pushing others too far. But this is a man who regularly slips in sh!t, then gets up smelling like roses, because better the devil you know, than the devil you don't.

Perhaps his most notorious slip was his connection to the terrorist bombing of an airliner over Lockerbie, Scotland in 1988. He escaped virtually unscathed from that by later denouncing terrorist activities. A few men were prosecuted; one was jailed, then released in 2009 on humanitarian grounds. The families of the victims? Well, tough luck, I guess.

While all this teetering and gesturing was going on, where was the UN? Now, don't get me wrong ~ this league of civilized nations has been a great forum to hear world concerns of all kinds from many concerned people over the years. And they have done great things for the children of the world. But the fact is, it is a gathering of responsible nations that lacks any muscle when it comes to dealing with political corruption and horrendous violations of human rights. It's great to speak to higher ideals, but rhetoric didn't stop the genocide in Rwanda, the horrors in Darfur, "ethnic cleansing" in Bosnia~Herzegovina, etc., etc. And the nations of the UN spent a lot of time hemming and hawing while Gaddafi murdered his own people.

I don't like war. I don't like violence. I don't like bullies. Do you?

Many of us in western countries try to teach our children that violence isn't justifiable. We discourage our kids from fighting in the school yard to resolve conflicts. And we are discouraged from using corporal punishment on our kids, the way our parents did. Violence, we are told, is not the way to solve problems. There is a big campaign on now to stop bullying, because it just isn't right.

And yet, our kids are bullied, and many of the ones who do survive the school yard no sooner get through puberty than they're decked out in spiffy uniforms and handed automatic weapons to go off to other countries to resolve political conflicts by violence, by killing, by getting killed. Huh? But wait....

Moreover, political bullying isn't at all frowned upon either, apparently. I mean, look at the leader of my country, Canada. His name is Stephen Harper and he routinely launches personal attacks on the opposition on national television. No, he's not just attacking policy and political platform, his ATTACKS are personal, against Ignatieff in particular ~ his personal history, his motives for entering Canadian politics, and more. This is not political campaigning, it's bullying! Harper is also a fear-monger, threatening Canadians with all sorts of supposedly dire political consequences if we don't vote for him. Are Canadians falling for these tactics? Heh... I don't see any uprising here. Canadians do have a means of deposing our bully: an election. But do Canadians care? It remains to be seen, but I have my doubts.

Gaddafi is killing his own people. In fact, he has pledged to kill anyone who continues to oppose him. (Yes, this is more extreme than Harper's tactics, but it's the same genre of sh!t. The only difference is that Harper does not have absolute power. Something I wouldn't trust him with for even a minute.) So finally the UN decides to step in. A bit late. I mean, by this time there is no diplomatic or economic means of influencing change in Libya.

It's war. It's violence. It's killing to stop killing.

So why don't we just stop lying to our children? Violence is the way we resolve conflict, and bullying is the way we influence people. It's really mean-spirited to lead our kids to believe some higher ideal is possible, when it plainly isn't. We are all just big liars ~ politicians, educators, parents... all of us. We should just let our children duke it out in the school yard to settle arguments. This will prepare them for the real world. We should just sit idly by while the meanest, toughest kids take over the school yard and all the other kids have to bow to their whims to get through the day.

Ideals are nice, but we don't have the stuff to make them real. Corruption, violence and bullying is the real world.

Eh? Did you say something? Really? Did you vote in the last election? You're bloody lucky if you have that recourse. Do you bother? Or do you just lie to your children?

A Gentle Tea Cleanse

OK, yet another dietary-related post. This one is about a cleansing tea that will help clean out that digestion system.... sort of a spring-cleaning for the bawd.

I always start with a green tea bag of some sort... Earl Grey, blueberry, ginger, or even decaf is fine. (Decaf is preferable if you're having it in the evening.)

Then I add at least a tsp. each of dandelion root and milk thistle seed (dandelion root cleanses the bile ducts/gall bladder; milk thistle restores the liver), then a few rosehips (vit C), some red clover blossoms (good ...for us girls), a slice of ginger root (digestion aid and lowers cholesterol), and top it off with dried cranberries or blueberries (mostly for flavour, but crans cleanse the urinary tract and blueberries are healthy a few ways). You can also add dried cherries if you have 'em. They help lower uric acid, an overabundance of which can cause gout. Dried cherries are just a little pricey, but sometimes you can get them on special, if you watch. Another nice flavour that aids in digestion is fennel seeds.

Put the tea bag, herbs, ginger and flavour enhancer of choice into a an old-fashioned teapot and add 3 cups boiling water. Allow to steep for 10 minutes. (If I'm needing an anti-inflammatory, I may even sprinkle in a bit of turmeric.) I will often have 2 cups hot, then let the rest cool. Later, or even the next day, I'll put ice cubes in a glass and finish tea cleanse as an iced tea.

This is a delicious (add honey if you like things sweetened), and excellent tea for when you're trying to cleanse your system gently. Enjoy. :)

Lasagna!

Ok, throwing in another one while we're in the baked pasta mood. Daughter has been wanting some lasagna, even though she can't have dairy, including cassein. Here's what I did:

1 bottle of Classico Roasted Garlic and Onion tomato sauce

Rizopia oven-ready brown rice lasagna noodles

1 lb. ground elk (locally raised and marketed)

1 pkg. Galaxy Foods vegan rice-based Italian flavour "cheese"

mushrooms and herbs to taste

I browned up the elk, then added most of the tomato sauce, some fresh thyme, and blended. I used the sauce I held back to layer the bottom of the baking dish. This helps the oven-ready pasta to soften. I laid the noodles on the sauce, then a layer of meat and sauce, then a layer of mushrooms and a layer of grated "cheese." Repeat. Bake, covered, for 45 mins in a pre-heated 350 degree oven.

Now, it's absolutely necessary that foods I make for my daughter are dairy (and cassein) free. She doesn't have to have gluten-free foods, but I'm trying to reduce her gluten intake so she doesn't get to a place where she develops a problem with it. I can't find anything in the Galaxy "cheese" that should have gluten in it, but the package does not say "Gluten-Free." Some day I'll try it and see what happens to me. ;o) There are gluten-free "cheeses" available tho, so with the rice noodles, this recipe can easily be gluten-free as well. (The Classico sauce is also not labelled gluten-free, but I consume it without ill-effect. There are also gluten-free sauces available in the health food section of many grocery stores.)

Ok, it's not at all traditional, but it's a yummy lasagna look-alike. Enjoy!

Gluten-free Ravioli

Ok then, sticking in another dietary blog post. I'd been putting this off for awhile, but the daughter asked me to make her homemade ravioli. I've been wanting to cut down on her gluten as well, so even though I'm content for the moment with my brown rice pasta, I decided to go gluten-free for hers.

She can have eggs, so I decided to make egg pasta using quinoa flour. 1 cup quinoa flour, 2 eggs and just a little water, then a bit more flour to work it in. I put it through my pasta maker, but I couldn't get it any thinner than the #5 setting, so you don't really need one. Just roll it out as thin as you can. I cut it with a tart cutter.

I filled each one, dampened the edges just with water, folded and sealed. I made the filling with sauted mushrooms, peppers, garlic, basil and a little already cooked natural beef. Make your filling of whatever you like!

Then I smothered the little raviolis in tomato sauce, again, your choice, and baked in a 350 oven for half an hour. The "cheese" on top is actually vegan cheese. I'm not actually positive it's gluten-free, but it's dairy-free ~ also an issue. But I'll have to check a new package to see if it has gluten. But again, sauce of choice!

My daughter had it for supper. Yes, she liked it. :)

Pickers!

A commentator on local radio reviewed this new television show, American Pickers. When I saw the advertisement for it, I smiled, because I got a bang out of the fact that they’ve actually created a show around those who recover treasures. I haven’t seen it, but I’m a fan of the concept. My husband and I used to be pickers.

For awhile we ran a little collectibles shop to try to change course during the 80s recession. We got a lot of our stock from auctions, lawn sales, and yes, from the large garbage that people put at the curb. In those days, when people wanted to get rid of something, they just put it at the curb for the magical garbage faeries to take away. There wasn’t a lot of concern that charities might be able to sell those clothing items or books, or that the old dresser might be a treasure disguised under layers of icky paint.

We not only found treasures that we could use, we re-directed some items to charity. We were careful what we chose to take them. Unfortunately, charities here are now being dumped on by people who apparently don't know what is re-usable and what is genuinely garbage. It’s like there’s a line there that some people can’t fathom. But these charities have to pay to discard the ratty furniture and broken junk, so we need to be discerning, and take them things that someone else might be able to use. And we need to discard the other things ourselves. If you have a box of soft-cover novels you don’t want anymore, someone might like those, and probably a local charity like a literacy council, thrift shop, or your local library, or even a used book store, would take those off your hands and recycle them to interested readers. Or those large jeans you’ve dieted your way out of. If they’re done, they’re garbage, but if they’ve still got wear in them, how about taking them to your local thrift shop? Or if they at least have good material left in them, perhaps a local quilting club would like to have them. Just sayin’. This keeps things out of landfill, and helps others... sort of a win/win thing.

But I digress. We really had fun picking through the stuff people placed at the curb during “big garbage” pickup. Hubby refinished several chests of drawers that turned out to be good hard wood underneath. We found chairs, lamps that just needed rewiring, window frames that made great mirrors, books, collectibles, intact carnival, cranberry, and depression glass items and more. Some people had a nasty “I don’t want it but you can’t have it” mentality that I don’t get. They’d break glass, cut screens, leave their discards piled in such a way that was plainly dangerous to touch, so we went around. Whatever. But most people didn’t care where the stuff went, as long as it went. So we kept good stuff from going to landfill and found new homes for it. Some of it needed work, but you know what they say, one man’s garbage is another man’s treasure! And it’s true.
One Mother’s Day we even took my mom garbage picking with us. She thought we were nuts at first, but she actually had a good time and got quite excited by some of our finds. There were a number of items that wound up on her shelves instead of in our store. While we were glad for her to have them, we didn’t take her picking with us too often. Hehe. We went a different direction after a while. We live in an economically depressed area and these days only scrap dealers can find treasure in those piles at the road. But we had fun for awhile there. If you have stuff you don’t want, don’t just send it to expensive landfill unless it really is garbage... and then do. But ask yourself if that item might be useful to someone else. No, don't get dollar signs in your eyes... no one makes a fortune on this stuff, except on television. If you have pickers in your neighbourhood and you don't want to drive around with that interesting stuff, make sure they can find the items you think are recyclable. Or, if you have charities in your community that raise funds with used goods, make sure suitable items get to them. That’s what community is about. Seriously.

Did He Say Mendelssohn?

No wait. He said meddlesome. Hey!!

Well really. I never! (Actually, I probably have.) I mean, I make the effort to keep my comments anecdotal so they aren’t seen as meddlesome. And I know I can be moody, like those dips into darkness, so I try not to impose those moments on others and just read sometimes. And really, couldn't any response to a published plea for attention be construed as meddlesome? Heh... I think so. But whatever. I dig it. I don’t like meddlesome people either. Like name-callers. So back atcha, fella! Feh.

But hey, I think it's in the nature of humans to meddle. There are meddlers in my life too. Here’s a list of my fave 5:

5) Hubby, who likes to turn on and tune in the TV to a program he likes before leaving the house, and I'm the only one at home. (Hmmmm. I can’t choose myself?)

4) Visitors who feel a need to tell me how to do things. Even really basic things, as if I wasn’t managing at all myself before they stumbled through my door.
(Hmmm... on this note, I wonder if youth really need advice, or just time, and life.)

3) Single, childless veterinarians who tell me I must meal-time my pets. Sheesh, I haven’t even successfully meal-timed my family. (But then, I don’t feel a compelling need to.)

2) Chiropractors who keep whacky hours and TELL me when I must appear for a lecture, wherein he TELLS me how much time I must spend each day doing his whacky exercises. (That’s right, I’m pushin’ 60 and I need some young twerp who calls himself a doctor telling me how I must live my life. Heh.)

1) People. Well.. hehe.. I guess I better qualify that since people are at the root of most annoyance on this planet. Lemme see, how about those who take EVERYTHING, including themselves, so very seriously. Lighten up people! We’re on the ride down. Might as well enjoy the wind in your hair. (With that in mind, most of the posts on this blog are written tongue-in-cheek. That means they should be read with a salt-shaker at hand.) ;o)

~~Thought for the day: If there is anyone on the planet who is perfect, I’ll bet they’re really impossible to live with. We all have flaws. Keep a perspective. ~~

But I digress. I notice when I want someone to meddle and solve some bothersome problem for me, they rarely do. No, I have to struggle with it. Although my daughter came through for me recently when I showed some confusion over terms of sexuality. She filled me in. Lemme see:

Heterosexual ~ people who are attracted to the opposite gender.
Homosexual ~ attracted to same gender.
Bisexual ~ attracted to both genders.
A-sexual ~ likes neither gender. Hmmm.
Trans-sexual ~ wants to be the other gender.
Pan-sexual ~ not really a sexuality, more of a philosophy that
it’s ok to love anyone, regardless of gender, race, cultural heritage and all that. (Now see, I thought a pan-sexual was just
somebody with an unhealthy love of pans.)
All-sexual ~ a bisexual hermaphrodite
(My daughter admits she invented this one.)
Auto-sexual ~ someone in love with their car.
Bi-curious ~ just wondering.

Do I have it straight? Oh... possibly an unfortunate choice of words. Ooops.

But I digress again. Back on the subject of meddling, there’s those people who are johnny-on-the-spot to answer rhetorical questions you only asked to provoke thought. In fact, not only do they answer, they do it right away. Of course. *sigh*

Of course, I don't really need the label. I mean, when you get a compliment, like "you're a beautiful being," it passes by before you can say "aw shucks." But something like "meddler," well, that could stick like the nickname "Stinky" at a junior high school. Oh well, I’m told I spend too much time online, and that’s probably true. Like many people these days, I have a bucket list. I’ve been enjoying crossing things off it and a lot of those things have been online activities. One thing I still haven’t gotten to though is re-acquainting myself with my musical instruments. Not an online activity, except for the guitar tuning site. Mendelssohn? Nope, probably more like the Eagles or John Denver. Sunshine on my shoulders. No kidding. And I'm going to put my hand to more original songs... call the first one, Sweet Release.