Really????

The poster, let's call him John S., wrote that he was retired from the armed services and regretted never having learned to dance. He would have liked to learn, he said. He said no more, just leaving that out there.

Another poster saw John's post. Let's call him Tanglefoot. Now Tanglefoot had been injured in an accident and he took dance lessons as part of his recovery therapy. It was something he'd always wanted to do as well, so he thought he'd be a sport and tell John all about it.

"I took lessons at a dance studio," wrote Tanglefoot. "The instructors were great ~ very patient ~ and I actually got very good at it, despite my disability. I don't dance to rock though, and I'm glad disco is dead, but I love being able to squire my lady around the dance floor to the slow tunes." He went to the trouble of including an URL to a national dance studio to help John out if he wanted to look into it.

But John came back with a little tidbit of information that he'd left out of his original post. "I lost my legs in Iraq," he said. "I don't much wear the prosthetics because they pinch, so I don't think I'll be dancing any time soon."

Tanglefoot was shocked, of course. But he was also angry. He felt used ~ taken advantage of by someone whose original post was not genuine... someone who just wanted sympathy and attention. Indeed, he felt bad for the guy, losing both legs, but he didn't like being misled, and sucked into the other man's self-pity.
Something stinks, Petunia


Tanglefoot himself was an amputee, having lost his foot in a winter climbing accident. But dancing had been the therapy he needed to gain the balance, physical strength and confidence he needed to manage now with the prosthetic foot. But while he was straight up about his disability, he didn't mention details because life isn't a contest and he didn't like to reduce it to one. He just didn't talk to John again.

Compassion? That cuts both ways, or at least it should. When someone presumes they are somehow more deserving of it and wastes someone else's time and effort in a pointless exercise, just to get pity and attention, they risk being denied the very thing they seek.

Yes, people like this have my pity, but not my respect. Perhaps that's partly because I know a great many people, mothers mostly, who face spirit-crushing challenges day in and day out with their kids, who aren't well, and who aren't always getting the medical care they need because of a backward medical community. These moms struggle to inform themselves through what is often a minefield of misinformation, and they take on the status quo and fight for their kids with amazing strength and determination. And they often do so without the support of loved ones... those very people they should be able to count on to stand with them. Then they turn around and help others who are tackling the same minefield, and they do so with love, compassion and grace. These are the people I admire and respect and for whom I have empathy and compassion.

But then there are the others.... I understand how Tanglefoot felt after his encounter with John S. People who are frightened and lonely will always have my sympathy. But I've made the same mistake as Tanglefoot a few times. It's made me hesitant to take people at face value. No challenge gives one person the right to "play" another and I intend to be more circumspect in future. I don't want to be sucked in by those lost in self-pity who think it's ok to misrepresent their situation as if the rest of us have nothing better to do than give them our attention whenever they want it.

Yeah, really.

The Market, and the Unseeing People

I've mentioned the market before.... in a previous post. I think community markets are great. You can get all kinds of foods, as well as locally made arts and crafts. These markets are all about locally grown, often organically or naturally grown meats, vegetables, fruits and more. And local artisans offer up unique items of hand-made beauty, as opposed to those department store things made in some off-shore sweat shop or assembly line.

This colourful hanging thing is made of origami birds!


There are always people who understand this and who shop the market all season long, enjoying the varied fruits of the season. But in the past several weeks of "doing" the market in my local community, I've noticed that there are also a lot of lost people who apparently don't see what is around them.


I don't know why these people come to the market. They walk through quickly, not looking left or right at the goods available. It's ok if they don't want to buy, but why would they not open their eyes and take a little look? Pass the time of day with the vendors or with others who've been attracted to the site? But these people seem quite blind to what is going on all around them. They navigate the wandering crowds, the little knobs of people standing chatting.

They aren't even annoyed by the obstacles. They just duck and weave around them and keep walking. They could always just walk through the parking lot, a stone's throw away, if they're just out for a brisk walk, instead of wending their way through the crowds of shoppers, huggers and chatters. There are few obstacles in the parking lot. Just some parked cars. No people, dogs, kids or other moving obstacles to slow them down. And yet.... there they are, seemingly unaware of where they are, what they're doing there, the goods or the humanity around them. Even if they don't see, you'd think they'd notice the smells...
the hot pies, the potato burgers, the herbs! And the garlic! My goodness... the garlic!!

Who are these people? Why are they walking blind? What is their stress that they get up, get dressed and come out to market, yet notice nothing?

Oh well, there's nothing I can do about it. I take joy in talking to all who stop by my table. If they buy, great. If they want to chat, that's cool too. It's all good. And I get to spend my morning enjoying the smells, doing a little shopping of my own, and gabbing with folks. I just can't help wondering about those willfully blind people who weave through the crowds unseeing. Unaware. All I can do is encourage you, the reader, to go out to your community market, and look, see, smell, chat and enjoy. Whatever your stress is, enjoying what is around you is what will help relieve it.

You go, Madonna!

Ok, I told myself to just shut up, but I can’t help myself. *sigh* I’m probably going to get run over by this little band wagon, leaving deeply spiritual tread marks all over my very human bod. But I just can’t help it.

It was something Madonna said. It was a quote presented on Facebook: “I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon but I want to STAY ALIVE.” Oy. Here come the harsh words from those who presume to judge her.

Well, I’m just not climbing on that wagon. For one thing, I can find a certain dark humour in what she said. (My gift apparently, though I am quite aware that some could just slap me for it.) For another, I just happen to think that judging someone harshly just because they’re rich and famous is every bit as lame as idol-worship. And for yet another, I don’t actually know the woman. I mean, I’ve never met her personally, talked with her, hung out with her. I only know about her what’s reported in the media ~ not exactly the paragon of accuracy. (And no, I don’t indulge in the gossip rags.) Even if I did know her, who died and made me God that I should judge her and her aspirations?

Heh. Madonna is just human, like the rest of us. I’m sure she’s trying. I’m sure she stumbles. I’m equally certain she sometimes triumphs and has her glory moments. I also think she aspires to some lofty heights with her choices, but what’s wrong with that? Should we not aspire to greatness? Are we to assume it’s out of our reach? Ok, it could be argued that wanting to stick around for the standing O is a little self-serving, but on the other hand, which of us is looking forward to being shot, crucified, burned at the stake, drawn and quartered or whatever? Talk about a need for attention, if posthumously. Yeah, yeah... glory in spirit. Well I’m not going to seek out my assassin, I can tell you, greatness or no.

Madonna is a celebrity. As such she lives much of her life under the intense scrutiny of the media, where a lot of what she says and does may be deemed “news” at the whim of a sometimes misguided world. Yep, it’s part of the price of fame, but I bet it still makes life and making those choices all the more difficult.

So I’m cutting her some slack. I admire the people she wants to be like, for whatever reason. What we have here is just life on Earth for however long we’re given it. We are human, for the moment anyway. How we die isn’t supposed to be our choice; but how we live is. And whatever wisdom you aspire to, the reality of life before Enlightenment is chop wood, carry water; after Enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.

Moreover, it’s only something Madonna said. As far as I know she didn’t carve it in a stone tablet and carry it down a mountain. Perspective. Tolerance. Humour. These are just some human qualities I admire. So, nope... maybe it’s an easy ride, but I’m not jumping on the judgement band wagon. You go, Madonna! Maybe one day you’ll get to be as admired as at least one of your heros, AND live to be very old. And in our world, you’ll likely get a standing O just for that. :)

Parenting ~ It Just Comes Naturally, Right?

It does, doesn't it? I mean, people have been popping out babies since the beginning of humanity. If they hadn't known how to care for their progeny, we wouldn't be here. Right?

Of course, there was a time when youngsters learned to parent at home, with the raising up of their siblings. Older kids, girls in particular, helped with the household chores, including the watching, changing, feeding of younger sibs. Boys also helped with the chores, but these were more likely outdoor, seasonal, farm chores, etc. Still, these taught them responsibility.

Well, times change ~ industrial revolution, child labour laws, schools... Do you remember baby dolls? I do. I even had one. The idea of the baby doll was to acquaint little girls with the care and raising of babies. In fact, most human play initiated by toys was, at one time, intended to teach to some degree. "No, no!" said Mom. "You don't drag a baby by its leg, bumping it's head along on the ground! Here's how you carry a baby." My baby doll could wet herself. Of course, after the first few times, Mom put a stop to that, what with all the wet spots all over the living room. The little baby bottle disappeared. The little diapers didn't work quite like real ones. {snicker}

Anyway, I digress. So yeah, way back, play was instructional. Ah, but since it was decided that children need to be in school from about the age of 4 onward, playtime isn't the same. Alas, we weren't allowed to play a whole lot in school. Oh kindergarten was fun. But it isn't as if we could play with dolls. There was serious scissor work to be done, and letters to learn, and stories... so many stories.

And of course, even the playtime available has evolved over the last half century. Baby dolls have given way to the Barbie with all its fashion and accessories. And hunting, fishing, fixing the tractor, car, or whatever, has given way to the video game. Boys are still playing war, but it isn't about physical stealth and target shooting, although they are learning some great hand~eye coordination. And then there's TV... tons of potential, and yet....

Hmmm... so what about these parenting skills? How are kids learning these? With both Mom and Dad working in our society, and with school work, TV and video games taking up so much of their lives, where are kids picking up these skills? Do they learn how to parent from Mom and Dad rushing them around to organized sports, music or dance lessons, cheerleading practice? Could something be missing?

Some schools are experimenting with parenting classes for teens these days, I hear. That's where the teacher sends a student home with a bag of flour to be cared for. This can have interesting results. Still, an effort is being made. Before writing this, I googled "parenting classes in schools" with limited results. So I'm wondering, shouldn't parenting skills just be part of what kids are learning in school? I mean from a young age too. Just as they take health, physical education and history, should they not be taught the basics of caring for another, little human being?

I just can't help wondering. Afterall, we need a licence to drive a car, or pilot a plane or boat. We need one to get married, or to hunt, fish, to sell real estate, or even to have a dog. And yet, no classes and no licence is required to procreate. Not that I'm advocating this. It's just that for something this important, and with issues such as bullying, anger management, social skills and more surfacing as areas of social concern, wouldn't the learning of parenting skills in school be a good thing? Anyway, I think so. Caring is still important. Isn't it?

Just wondering.

A nod to Crystal Jigsaw, whose blog post got me to thinkin'. The link to her blog is: http://crystaljigsaw.blogspot.com/

Why Don't We Stop Lying to Our Children?

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely.

This is a quote from the words of John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton, first Baron Acton (1834–1902). The historian and moralist, who was otherwise known simply as Lord Acton, expressed this opinion in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton in 1887:
"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men."

He said a mouthful.

How often have we seen this proven in the pages of history? Answer: too often. What to do? A discussion broke out (I think an apt description of how discussions tend to start these days) over deposing corrupt leaders. Someone asked how we'd feel if someone from another country wanted to depose ours. Heh. Apples and oranges. You see, we can depose our own. It's called an ELECTION. People in countries like Libya don't have that handy opportunity. The problem here is that we don't necessarily recognize when there's a problem and we don't use our opportunity for change to our own benefit. We sit dumbly by while our trust is abused. We call 53% a "good" voting turnout. We are a rather apathetic society, to put it mildly. Ah, but, I digress.

Gaddafi took over Libya by military coup and has had absolute power over the Libyan people for over 40 years. He is corrupt, to say the least. He has been, to some degree, controlled by other powers by virtue of sanctions and threats over this time. But he has always had an ace up his sleeve: oil, the main commodity of Libya and something the rest of us want. And so, despite the disdain of many nations and world leaders, he has remained in power, at times teetering on the brink of pushing others too far. But this is a man who regularly slips in sh!t, then gets up smelling like roses, because better the devil you know, than the devil you don't.

Perhaps his most notorious slip was his connection to the terrorist bombing of an airliner over Lockerbie, Scotland in 1988. He escaped virtually unscathed from that by later denouncing terrorist activities. A few men were prosecuted; one was jailed, then released in 2009 on humanitarian grounds. The families of the victims? Well, tough luck, I guess.

While all this teetering and gesturing was going on, where was the UN? Now, don't get me wrong ~ this league of civilized nations has been a great forum to hear world concerns of all kinds from many concerned people over the years. And they have done great things for the children of the world. But the fact is, it is a gathering of responsible nations that lacks any muscle when it comes to dealing with political corruption and horrendous violations of human rights. It's great to speak to higher ideals, but rhetoric didn't stop the genocide in Rwanda, the horrors in Darfur, "ethnic cleansing" in Bosnia~Herzegovina, etc., etc. And the nations of the UN spent a lot of time hemming and hawing while Gaddafi murdered his own people.

I don't like war. I don't like violence. I don't like bullies. Do you?

Many of us in western countries try to teach our children that violence isn't justifiable. We discourage our kids from fighting in the school yard to resolve conflicts. And we are discouraged from using corporal punishment on our kids, the way our parents did. Violence, we are told, is not the way to solve problems. There is a big campaign on now to stop bullying, because it just isn't right.

And yet, our kids are bullied, and many of the ones who do survive the school yard no sooner get through puberty than they're decked out in spiffy uniforms and handed automatic weapons to go off to other countries to resolve political conflicts by violence, by killing, by getting killed. Huh? But wait....

Moreover, political bullying isn't at all frowned upon either, apparently. I mean, look at the leader of my country, Canada. His name is Stephen Harper and he routinely launches personal attacks on the opposition on national television. No, he's not just attacking policy and political platform, his ATTACKS are personal, against Ignatieff in particular ~ his personal history, his motives for entering Canadian politics, and more. This is not political campaigning, it's bullying! Harper is also a fear-monger, threatening Canadians with all sorts of supposedly dire political consequences if we don't vote for him. Are Canadians falling for these tactics? Heh... I don't see any uprising here. Canadians do have a means of deposing our bully: an election. But do Canadians care? It remains to be seen, but I have my doubts.

Gaddafi is killing his own people. In fact, he has pledged to kill anyone who continues to oppose him. (Yes, this is more extreme than Harper's tactics, but it's the same genre of sh!t. The only difference is that Harper does not have absolute power. Something I wouldn't trust him with for even a minute.) So finally the UN decides to step in. A bit late. I mean, by this time there is no diplomatic or economic means of influencing change in Libya.

It's war. It's violence. It's killing to stop killing.

So why don't we just stop lying to our children? Violence is the way we resolve conflict, and bullying is the way we influence people. It's really mean-spirited to lead our kids to believe some higher ideal is possible, when it plainly isn't. We are all just big liars ~ politicians, educators, parents... all of us. We should just let our children duke it out in the school yard to settle arguments. This will prepare them for the real world. We should just sit idly by while the meanest, toughest kids take over the school yard and all the other kids have to bow to their whims to get through the day.

Ideals are nice, but we don't have the stuff to make them real. Corruption, violence and bullying is the real world.

Eh? Did you say something? Really? Did you vote in the last election? You're bloody lucky if you have that recourse. Do you bother? Or do you just lie to your children?

A Gentle Tea Cleanse

OK, yet another dietary-related post. This one is about a cleansing tea that will help clean out that digestion system.... sort of a spring-cleaning for the bawd.

I always start with a green tea bag of some sort... Earl Grey, blueberry, ginger, or even decaf is fine. (Decaf is preferable if you're having it in the evening.)

Then I add at least a tsp. each of dandelion root and milk thistle seed (dandelion root cleanses the bile ducts/gall bladder; milk thistle restores the liver), then a few rosehips (vit C), some red clover blossoms (good ...for us girls), a slice of ginger root (digestion aid and lowers cholesterol), and top it off with dried cranberries or blueberries (mostly for flavour, but crans cleanse the urinary tract and blueberries are healthy a few ways). You can also add dried cherries if you have 'em. They help lower uric acid, an overabundance of which can cause gout. Dried cherries are just a little pricey, but sometimes you can get them on special, if you watch. Another nice flavour that aids in digestion is fennel seeds.

Put the tea bag, herbs, ginger and flavour enhancer of choice into a an old-fashioned teapot and add 3 cups boiling water. Allow to steep for 10 minutes. (If I'm needing an anti-inflammatory, I may even sprinkle in a bit of turmeric.) I will often have 2 cups hot, then let the rest cool. Later, or even the next day, I'll put ice cubes in a glass and finish tea cleanse as an iced tea.

This is a delicious (add honey if you like things sweetened), and excellent tea for when you're trying to cleanse your system gently. Enjoy. :)

Lasagna!

Ok, throwing in another one while we're in the baked pasta mood. Daughter has been wanting some lasagna, even though she can't have dairy, including cassein. Here's what I did:

1 bottle of Classico Roasted Garlic and Onion tomato sauce

Rizopia oven-ready brown rice lasagna noodles

1 lb. ground elk (locally raised and marketed)

1 pkg. Galaxy Foods vegan rice-based Italian flavour "cheese"

mushrooms and herbs to taste

I browned up the elk, then added most of the tomato sauce, some fresh thyme, and blended. I used the sauce I held back to layer the bottom of the baking dish. This helps the oven-ready pasta to soften. I laid the noodles on the sauce, then a layer of meat and sauce, then a layer of mushrooms and a layer of grated "cheese." Repeat. Bake, covered, for 45 mins in a pre-heated 350 degree oven.

Now, it's absolutely necessary that foods I make for my daughter are dairy (and cassein) free. She doesn't have to have gluten-free foods, but I'm trying to reduce her gluten intake so she doesn't get to a place where she develops a problem with it. I can't find anything in the Galaxy "cheese" that should have gluten in it, but the package does not say "Gluten-Free." Some day I'll try it and see what happens to me. ;o) There are gluten-free "cheeses" available tho, so with the rice noodles, this recipe can easily be gluten-free as well. (The Classico sauce is also not labelled gluten-free, but I consume it without ill-effect. There are also gluten-free sauces available in the health food section of many grocery stores.)

Ok, it's not at all traditional, but it's a yummy lasagna look-alike. Enjoy!